Ah, autumn—the second-best season! It brings us warm sweaters, pumpkin spice flavoring, and long nights spent prancing around the bonfire. Is there anything better than a roaring bonfire to chase the chill away? No matter what you set aflame or where you dance around it, you can horribly injure yourself while maintaining your cozy fall vibe.
Beached Barbie
Welcome the fall by grabbing a group of friends, the fixins for S’Mores, and some matches, because you’re off to the beach for a classic bonfire! Your evening will be rife with the soothing snaps of the fire, shooting cinders…and probably severe burn scars when you drink too much Jager and try to dance sexily for Mike before tripping on a log. Maybe you should bring some bandages or something with your bonfire supplies. Being cute and clumsy works in the movies, but in real life, you get burned by literal fire.
City Lights, Ambulance Lights
If your closest beach is far away, you can still dance, dance, dance like everyone is watching. You’ll need a metal trashcan, wood, and a neighborhood not fond of calling the cops on women with no rhythm. Set that trashcan aflame with a group of swell gals who own flower crowns. You’ll need them to flap helplessly around you when your fringed dress catches fire and drive you to the emergency room while tripping on shrooms.
Forest o’ Flame
If a deep, dark cavort in the forest is more your speed, try a bonfire in the woods. Line up rocks in a circle and watch the flames climb high. Be warned, ladies—alcohol in the darkness can loosen up your frolicking feet, but it will also lead you to the fire like a Kardashian to a camera. It will all go to shit when you attempt to leap the fire, under the assumption that you area reincarnated druid priestess after downing many Smirnoff Ices with Craig, the weird guy who does magic tricks in study hall.
Cactus Camera
You don’t need a filthy music festival full of half-naked Instagram it-girls to have a bonfire in the desert! You can have a half-naked boogie among the cacti whenever you like. Get ready for your guy friends pretending to see coyotes, when a startled jump sends straight into the leaping flames, and you get tagged in the photo of the season!
It’s hard to enjoy fall without a good fire…and even harder when you’re on fire. But a girls gotta fall where a girls gotta fall—straight into this fall’s hottest flames!
