4 Edible Massage Oils to Cook With When You’re Not Getting Laid

A nice massage oil is the perfect thing to heat things up in the bedroom with your lover, but if you’re also committed to living resourcefully, then you probably want your massage oil to be in use while you aren’t fucking as well. Well, you’re in luck, because these four massage oils are edible, which means you can use them in the regular old kitchen when you’re not getting any dick!

 

Coconut Love Oil (Woo More Play, $25)

This luxurious massage oil is made with virgin coconut oil and vanilla essence, making it just as tasty as you are! It’s also great to save for a future dry spell when you also happen to be out of vegetable oil. Don’t worry – when you’re making brownies from a box, it’ll taste even better than if you did it according to the recipe! Yum!

 

Succulent Strawberry Massage Oil (Bedroom Kandi, $10)

Sex-positive Real Housewife Kandi Burruss has a great brand of sex toys with a wide range of massage oils, but this one is by far the best. It also pairs well with fish or chicken! Feel free to use this one in the bedroom, as well as the kitchen when you’re not getting any.

 

 

White Chocolate Sensual Massage Oil (High On Love, $59.95)

Premium quality hemp seed oil gives this massage oil a unique and decadent twist along with its white chocolate flavoring. It’s also all natural, which means that you won’t have to worry about any parabens or other unnatural chemicals when you cook or bake with it, and after you pop those cookies in the oven you can rub the rest on your legs, your genitals, wherever!

 

Cherry Kissable Massage Oil (Lovehoney Oh!, $7.99)

Is your favorite dessert cherry pie? Then this massage oil was made especially for you. Mostly because you won’t be able to stop making cherry pies with it during a long stretch of no one touching you sexually. Delicious!

 

So if you’re wondering how to mix up your sex life, or you’re looking for more cooking oil alternatives, then any of these edible massage oils will definitely do the trick. Now you’ll have something to look forward to when your booty call doesn’t end up coming over (massage oil stir fry)!