4 Drugstore Mascaras That’ll Give You Big Ol’ Snuffleupagus Eyes

Rimmel ScandalEyes Retro Glam Mascara (Walmart, $5.47)

With fibers that build upon your natural lash-length with each swipe, everyone at the function will be in awe that they’re in the presence of large and clumsy childhood icon and also pretty terrifying giant Sesame Street puppet, Snuffleupagus. What the hell even was that thing? It didn’t have ears! Seriously, go look it up, the thing was earless. It’s really unsettling. Why would you want to look like that?