4 Dark Lipstick Shades That’ll Make You Look Like A Sorceress With No Time For Foolish Goblins


As the weather gets colder, your lip color should be getting darker, giving you the mysterious brooding look of a woman who doesn’t tolerate any shit from her goblin minions. Whether you’re looking to command attention in the office or turn heads at the bar, these deep lipstick shades will have people saying, “Wow, that woman looks like a total sorceress who’s had it with goblins.”


‘Oxblood’ Lip Velvet Lipstick (Burberry, $34)

This deep burgundy lipstick is luxurious and long-lasting to give you a dark, matte lip that’ll have people cowering when you get near. When you tell your girlfriends the shade of the lip color is “oxblood,” anyone who overhears will think you’re talking about ingredients for a spell. You actually came to this bar to blow off steam since Stephen ghosted you, but swipe this lipstick on and you’ll suddenly look like a sorceress who is more than powerful—she’s also fed up with foolish goblins.


‘Damned’ Liquid Lipstick (Kat Von D, $20)

This ominously titled lip color is a creamy black cherry color that makes you look like a powerful witch who can do magic and fantasy mischief. Pull this lipstick out when you need the foolish goblins and ghouls in your life to get the fuck out of your way. Sure, those are just the dolts from accounting who crowd around the toaster oven when you have a bagel that needs crisping, but they’re goblins to you. Strut into the office kitchen and watch them shrink away and flee.



‘Liv’ Audacious Lipstick (NARS, $32)

This deep aubergine lipstick is super saturated to strike fear into any remaining goblins who think you might take shit today. One layer of this color and you’ll go from girl-next-door to witch-who-looks-like-she’s-touched-toads. This is the exact color to wear when you’re going over to your man’s house and don’t want to leave without a promise of exclusivity in the relationship. He’ll take one look at your dark, witchy lips and think, “Damn, that bitch knows sorcery and I’m a foolish hobgoblin.”


‘Plum Role’ Be Legendary Lipstick (Smashbox, $21)

Ready to cast ugly, elfish dullards from your life? Then you better put on this deep plum lip shade and before you know it, the world will know that you’re sick of the goblins who get in your way. Pair this with an equally dark lip liner and you’ll look like a sorceress who eats goblins and dicks for breakfast. Anyone who gets in your way better beware! Yes, even your creepy landlord!


A dark lip color is more than just a style choice; it’s a message to the world that you’re not going to take any shit. Put on any of these four dark shades and get ready for people to look at you in a whole new light—the light of a supernatural woman who is tired of meddling goblins.