Lipstick Shades That Say, ‘I Just Ate Spaghetti’

Anytime you wore a lipstick with an orange hue, your mom would ask what the hell you ate to coat your lips in such a sad, tomatoey sheen. Well, she’s not the boss of you anymore! She’s dead now. Here are some ruddy shades to rock when you want to multitask trends with a visit to the trattoria:

 

Spaghettios Coral. It’s just a little past pink, but not so much that you’re going full-on clown mouth. Try a swipe of this after you’ve chilled out on a Saturday morning watching DVR-ed “The Sing-Off” and nomming on a can of Chef Boyardee. All the dudes on your kickball team will think you’re hip and saucy—like cheesy tomato saucy. Who doesn’t like that?

 

Tangerine Parmigiana. Here we get a little more daring: Pair this shade with just about anything on the menu at your local Macaroni Grill, and watch those lips pop. Now put that mirror away and slurp down some chicken parm—you’ve got this.

 

 

Deep Dish Red with Orange Undertones. Unlike red with blue undertones, this trendsetting shade will not make your teeth look brighter and whiter. Bust this one out for a night on the town after that bowl of savory Bolognese that definitely stained a lot more than your lips. Look at you – you are a down-to-earth, real-ass hottie!

 

Neverending Pasta Bowl Peachy-Nude. After a few rounds of cavatappi at the Olive Garden, just dab a little gloss on your pout in the luxuriant Tuscan-inspired powder room. The robust Roma tomato stains on your lips will be more than enough to power your pucker. The gloss will highlight the color while making the tomato stain seem both deliberate and awesome. Win-win! Guys don’t want a high-maintenance biatch!

 

With your newfound knowledge of this little-known sector of the color wheel, you will no doubt turn heads and empower your pasta-eating passion. So grab some Crest Whitestrips (or four) and flash the world an unapologetic Oompa Loompa smile—you’ve earned this!