For centuries, women have overused the word “sorry”. But times are changing, and if we want to be respected as equals, we have to start talking like it. There are plenty of other words you say all the time that are making you an embarrassment to your gender. Women have come so far; do you really want to be the one who ruins it for all of us? Here is a list of words that you should feel similarly guilty for overusing other than “sorry”:
1. “Umm…”
Saying “umm” makes you seem timid and uncertain. If it’s important to you that women are taken seriously, nix this one from your vocabulary. That’s easy enough, right?
2. “Anyway”
This word is a cop-out to dismiss whatever you just said. You might as well be silencing the voices of all the women who came before you. If you are female, don’t say “anyway” anymore. Go ahead, try it.
3. “Excuse me”
Stop making excuses and simply plow through every obstacle that gets in your way. Manners are for the stifled 1950s housewives who never had the opportunities that you do. They said “excuse me” and they’re dead now. You don’t want to be like them, do you?
4. “Please”
Don’t ask for permission; ask for forgiveness. Did Joan of Arc burn at the stake for nothing? Did she? No more please, please!
5. “Maybe”
If you can’t be decisive, then what was the point of giving women the right to vote? Saying “maybe” is like pissing on Susan B. Anthony’s grave.
6. “Like…”
Do you say “like” as a pointless filler when you speak? Hold on, I think I hear the ghost of Emily Dickinson weeping over your pathetic lack of vocabulary.
7. “Help”
Because women can’t do anything with out the help of a man? Tell that to Amelia Earhart!
8. “Dad”
Fathers are just a symbol of the patriarchy, so you’re better off just calling yours “Gary”.
9. “Home”
Stop bringing up the fact that you have a place where you live. It will just remind men that a woman’s place is in the home, and before you know it they’ll turn us all into Stepford Wives.
10. “Good”
Complacency is for sheep. Are you a sheep? Stop saying things are good.
11. “Ow”
Keep your pain to yourself. We don’t need you to perpetuate the idea that women are fragile little porcelain dolls.
12. “Never mind”
What are you, mindless? You might as well be, if you keep using this retraction of your previous thought.
13. “Goodbye”
Saying things are good and then leaving the room? You’re the reason why we’ve never had a female president.
14. “Whatever”
The wage gap increases a little every time you say this one.
15 & 16. “If” & “But”
If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, Republicans wouldn’t be trying to reverse women’s reproductive rights.
17. “It”
Objectification has wormed its insidious way into your heart. We bet you’re one of those women who only hangs out with guys because she “doesn’t get along with other women.”
18. “Thanks”
“Thanks” for reinforcing that glass ceiling.
19. “To”
“To” be or not “to” be an enemy to all women, that is apparently not even a question for you.
20. “Sure”
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything, specifically perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards.
21. “And”
Let me guess: you tell people you’re a “humanist,” not a “feminist.”
22. “Actually”
Do you collect little girls’ tears and drink them to increase your power?
23.“Hi”
FIX EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR GARBAGE MOUTH.
And there you have it! As women, if we don’t start policing each other’s language, we’ll never accomplish any progress. So think long and hard before you speak, and just remember, if you slip up, you are single-handedly destroying the image of women everywhere!
