A DC-based thinktank released a study confirming that 9 out of 10 white men at any karaoke event are considering performing a rap song on any given evening.
“We had our theories,” said Randall Kroneig, the head researcher on the study. “We thought at any given time that maybe 3 or 4 white guys would be weighing the pros and cons of ‘Baby Got Back’ versus ‘Colt 45’, but none of us predicted it was occurring to this degree.”
Dr. Kroenig, who conducted his research over a 12-month period at both designated karaoke bars and isolated karaoke nights, broke down the specifics of the study.
“There were several external factors that showed influence on the ultimate decisions made by the men,” he explained. “These included their level of inebriation, the support or lack of support of their peers, and the proximity of any African-Americans within the karaoke venue.”
“The most common song that these white men were seriously considering was ‘Gold Digger’, but that the frequent presence of the N-word made it a controversial choice,” added Dr. Kroenig So most men went with a pop song or stuck to a less risky rap tune, such as ‘Big Poppa’, ‘Gin and Juice’, or ‘It’s Tricky’.
“Our results were unfortunately unclear regarding whether those outliers who chose ‘Ice Ice Baby’ were performing in earnest or in jest,” he added.
White men across the country are shocked by the study’s findings.
“The numbers seem high to me, to be honest,” said one Franklin DeValle. “I’m always the only white dude at any karaoke who’s bold enough to do a rap song, so there can’t be that many dudes thinking about it.”
But Dr. Kroenig insists that the results are accurate.
“It’s also important to note that our research adjusted for hip-hop and R&B songs that could be considered rap as well,” said Dr. Kroenig. “So taking that into consideration, it could be that up to 100% of white men were thinking about doing a rap song, depending on what they consider to be rap.”