Author Archives for Emily Zauzmer

How to Romanticize Your Life So Much ‘This Will Be’ Plays When You Enter a Room

Highest Honor Woman Can Bestow Pressing ‘Haha’ While Also Typing ‘Hahaha’

Wow! This Woman Doesn’t Need External Validation, Right?

‘Valentine’s Day Is Just an Excuse to Sell Stuff,’ Says Woman Who Wants the Stuff

Aww! Scenic Hike Reminds Woman How Beautiful Cell Reception Is

Nice! Weight Machine at Gym Also Just Chair

Incredible! Single Woman Brushing Teeth Before Bed Even Though No One Would Know if She Didn’t

Woman Who Set 19 Alarms Annoyed So Many Alarms Going Off

Awkward! Dog Going in for Handshake While Woman Going in for Hug

U.S. Postal Service Reveals Flag Up Means Mailbox Aroused

Smart! Woman Too Tired to Move from Couch to Bed Just Going to Stay Up for 3 More Hours

Tooth Fairy Thinking About Getting Into Nail-Clipping Space

Woman Trying to Heart-React Her Way to Wedding Invitation

Yes! Toilet Paper Roll With Just Enough Left Not This Poop’s Problem

Santa Warning Friends in Advance He’s Just in Town for a Work Thing and Can’t Meet Up

What? Dog Peeing Without Reading Anything on Phone

‘I Hope I Exercise When I’m Old,’ Says Woman Who Doesn’t Exercise While She’s Young

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