Author Archives for Caroline Hanes

Woman Who Doesn’t Have Time to Call Grandparents Wrapping Up Fourth Season of ‘Love Is Blind’

Relatable! Bank Collapses

Newborn Wondering If This Tit Has Oat Milk

Rihanna’s Fetus a Little Disappointed She Didn’t Play ‘Disturbia’

Five-Paragraph Text Could Have Been Picture of Dog

Woman Prefaces Porn Search With ‘I Wouldn’t Want This in Real Life But’

Are You out of Groceries or Are You Just out of Cheese?

How to Live in the Moment by Quitting Time Travel Cold Turkey

Fuck Me Eyes? This Woman is a Pirate With Sensitive Eyes

4 Believably Cheerful Ways to Ask When Your Roommate Is Coming Home

How to Ride Him Platonically

‘Don’t Patronize Me,’ Says Burnt Out Patron Saint

Woman Buys Decorative Bag of Baby Carrots

Yikes! A Waiter Told Me to Enjoy My Meal and I Said ‘You Too! And Give Your Wife a Big Sloppy Kiss From Me!’

Woman’s To-Do List Includes a Lot of Question Marks

How to Establish Boundaries With Your Friend Who Wants to Take a Candle Making Class Together