Author Archives for Caroline Hanes

Woman Spends Most of Nap Calculating How Much Longer She Can Nap

Woman in Honeymoon Stage With New Condiment

REPORT: Pleasure of Orange Outweighed by Labor of Peel

Hospitable! Wedding Hosts Providing Farewell Breakfast to Find Out Who Fucked

Friend Waiting 10 Days to Venmo Request Creating False Sense of Free Mozzarella Sticks

I LIVED IT: I Set an Alarm and It Went Off

‘I Don’t Trust AI,’ Says Woman Who Trusts $4 Bikini Bottom

Damn! Notification Was Loving Message From Friend Instead of Amazon Delivery Update

‘But I Was the Birthday Girl,’ Says Woman Charged With 14 Felonies

Woman Hires TaskRabbit to Make Small Talk With TaskRabbit

How to Remember to Go to Work Even Though There’s No Partiful

Study Finds Woman Who RSVP’d With ‘FUCK YES’ Has 70% Chance of Canceling

Study Finds You Can Still Get Into Heaven if You Call Your Sister a Bitch

‘I Would Never Raise An iPad Baby,’ Says iPad Adult Woman

Wow! This Woman Is So in Tune With Her Cycle She Knows When She’s Actively Bleeding

Woman Receiving Call From Friend Unaware That It Is a To-Do List Item