Author Archives for Alyson D'Lando

Real-life Terminator? This Woman Would Go Back in Time and Fuck Mark Zuckerberg to Save Us All

Why We Should Raise the Debt Ceiling and Fast, Because I am Outside Sephora

Wow! This Stylist Can Cut Curly Hair But Only If It’s Pubes

How to Go to the Farmers Market Without Being Like, ‘I’m at the Farmers Market!’

Coworker is Out of Office With Limited Access to Email So Don’t Get Any Fuckin’ Ideas

Wow! This Woman Is Nailing a ‘Buy Nothing’ Challenge Because She Is Poor

‘It Feels Like Real Life Again,’ Says Woman Who Clogged a Toilet and Ran Away

Nice! $70 Swimsuit Price Actually Only for Bottom

Catcaller Enjoyed Extra Time at Home with His Family But Feels Ready to Go Back to Work

‘Thank You, Science!’ Says Woman Who Just Got Railed By a Scientist

Why We Need to Forgive Student Loan Debt and Also Me for My Peace Sign Phase

CDC Says It’s Safe to Hug Your Grandkids and Maybe the Salesperson at Sephora?

Bold Winter Lips That Say, ‘It’s Mostly Cracked Blood Under Here’

Newly Vaccinated Man Still Gonna Give You HPV

How to Dust Your Curtain Bangs

Wow! These Black Friday Deals Will Make You Forget You Were Just Googling ‘Coup’

Miss Going to Bars? Here’s How to Teach Your Cat to Keep an Eye on Your Purse

Nice! Daylight Savings Time The Least Of Our Problems This Year

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