After spending 15 minutes at his local farmers’ market trying to talk a farmer down to a near-negligible price, 27-year-old Portland, OR resident Aaron Fairfield put the mind of his distressed date at ease by saying, “Don’t worry, you’re supposed to haggle with them!”
“At farmers’ markets, the listed prices are more like suggestions,” said Aaron, to whom the listed price was already incredibly reasonable and well within his budget. “Haggling is all just part of the game!”
Sources confirmed that the “game” to which Aaron was referring was just “the livelihoods of local independent farmers.”
Aaron’s date, Myra, told reporters she wasn’t sure what made Aaron think this transaction was any different from every other monetary exchange he makes in his day-to-day life.
“It’s not like he tries to barter with the barista at Dunkin’ every time he orders a coffee,” Myra said. “I don’t know, maybe he thinks the rules are more bendable at the farmers’ market because we’re outdoors and the prices are written in Sharpie?”
All signs point to Aaron just having an innate respect for corporations that he absolutely does not have for independent businesses and artisans.
“Corporations arrive at their prices based on stringent market analysis and customer valuation,” explained Aaron, unprompted. “The vendors at this farmers’ market are just throwing out prices willy-nilly, without any professional understanding of cost whatsoever. I know this because they’re just, like, farmers.”
Sources at the scene said they found Aaron’s perception of farmers “troublesome” and his use of the phrase willy-nilly “super embarrassing.”
Aaron continued, “In order to arrive at a fair price, it’s important to waste several minutes of each vendor’s life being super annoying and cheap and saying things like, ‘Well, I saw another farmer two stands down selling these exact same plums for $1 instead of $3,’ even if that’s very much not the case.”
Several farmers confirmed that Aaron’s methods were exhausting, that their prices were not up for debate, and that they would rather not receive Aaron’s business at all than have to spend a single second interacting with him.
At press time, Myra had purchased some delicious homemade bread from a local baker’s stand at the listed price, told Aaron that she was leaving, then saw him at a lemonade stand on the corner as she was walking home, bartering with the child running it to drop their price from 50 cents to 25 cents.
