Yikes! Did You Know Dana Called Them Sunnies?

As we met together over late brunch on Sunday, something heretofore unnoticed shocked our close group of queens. We were eating outside when Dana—our own Dana—suddenly declared that she forgot her sunnies. That’s right—sunnies. Ellie didn’t hear her at first, so Dana just repeated it louder. Her sunnies. “How did we miss this?” we all whispered to each other while sitting right in front of her.


We’ve known Dana for several years and she’s been one of our most normal friends. She’s always down to get drinks and listen to our latest relationship disasters. So this strange utterance came out of left field and left us all in her shaking our heads as we downed our mimosas.


“This is very bad! Don’t you know that name is dumb?! Can this even be real?!?!” Michelle shouted frantically to everyone at our table. Dana appeared shocked.


Although we should have had an intervention right then and there, we were a little caught off guard. Maybe it was a mix-up. After all, Dana’s not much of an abbreviator. The minute Dana got up to go to the bathroom we put our heads together to figure out what had happened to our dear friend.



“Remember when she went silent on that group text about whether or not I should update my profile picture to that selfie of me in front of the fountain?” Felicity asked. “Was that a warning sign? Should we order more pancakes for the table?”


So there we were, left wondering, was Dana still our friend? Could we really consider her one of us if this is how she’s going to be from now on? Sure, she volunteers at the Children’s Hospital and she once drove Ellie home from a bar at 4am. She didn’t even mind that she threw up in her glove compartment! Yes, she took Felicity on a weekend retreat when her ex starting texting again. But what did that matter now that we knew the real Dana?


She calls her sunglasses “sunnies” and now she’s a stranger to us.


It really goes to show that sometimes you just don’t see this stuff coming from your friends. How can someone turn on you in a single moment?


For now we’ll be regrouping, questioning our past decisions in letting this stranger into our midst, and trying to get that word out of our heads—sunnies, sunnies, sunnies.