Wow! This Couple Named Their Son Onyx, But There’s Still a Lot of Work to be Done

In a progressive move, Charlie Baker and Anna Hunt have named their infant son Onyx, which, to be clear, is still not enough to ensure that their son will be a good person.

 

“A name is very important to the formation of a child’s identity,” said Hunt. “Not to generalize, but if we had named him something like Brad or even Randall, he’d probably turn into some kind of monster.”

 

“But, I mean, Onyx?” added Hunt. “Can you believe that? That’s his name. So, yeah, I think he’s going to be a good kid.”

 

It sure is inspiring that these two are breaking from the norm with their naming choice, but if Onyx grows up to be a boy, it’s going to take a whole lot more than that fun name to help him deconstruct the harmful elements of being a man in a patriarchal society!

 

“We just wanted to name him something a little different,” said Baker. “Something ambiguous. The name of a creative, but, you know, one you can trust. Like a sculptor I guess.”

 

“Or a ceramicist,” added Hunt. “Or maybe a folk musician. Just definitely not a photographer or a director.”

 

Hunt and Baker have also specified that with a name like Onyx, they expect soccer, modern dance, and rock climbing will be the only sports on the table for him, which, quite simply, is not going to cut it.

 

“None of those rah-rah-rah sports,” Hunt explained. “We want Onyx to express his physicality in a way that shows he’s cerebral. Soccer is okay because it’s European.”

 

 

Onyx’s aunt, Gloria Lane, isn’t as confident as his parents that the baby boy is on the right track to healthy masculinity.

 

“Their focus on the type of person he’s going to be seems pretty superficial,” said Lane. “It’s really just about raising him to be empathetic and critical of the oppressive systems that benefit him.”

 

The new parents, however, are unconvinced.

 

“We live in a post-gender society, right?” said Onyx’s dad, Baker. “Everything will just work out. And I mean, come on! His name is Onyx, for God’s sake.”

 

Wow! Good luck to the forward-thinking young family. Your work has just begun!