Woman’s Insomnia Linked To Weird Convo In 2004

After years of research, psychologists have finally found the link between the insomnia long-suffered by 31-year-old Fiona Babcock and one weird conversation she had at a party in 2004.


Dr. Linda Blechman got to the root of Babcock’s disordered sleeping using a form of regression therapy.


“We just kept going back further and further in time, past several ex-boyfriends, a tragic friend breakup she suffered, and even the death of her beloved aunt,” says Blechman. “But it turns out the issue was generated by this one super weird conversation she had at a party in college.”



“Yeah, it’s only now coming back to me,” says Babcock. “I was chatting with this girl about being an English major and she was kinda like, ‘really? That’s what you want to do?’ And I was like, ‘I love English people,’ but I meant it as a joke, and she just kind of changed the subject. It was a joke. Did she think I was serious? I guess it was a really bad joke but I haven’t slept well since.”


Despite the reservations the conversation instilled in her, Babcock went on to major in English in both undergrad and grad school before becoming a high-school English teacher, a career she says she thinks makes her happy, for the most part.


“I do lie awake a lot a night wondering if something’s missing or if I’ve done something wrong. And now I realize it’s because of that girl. I think her name was Hannah? She dropped out a few months after that.”


Babcock is now undergoing behavioral therapy with Dr. Blechman, reenacting the conversation to assure the girl that she does in fact enjoy the study of English literature and everyone thinks she’s just fine.


“I just wish I could go back and time and tell her – and me,” says Babcock. “I really haven’t had a full night’s sleep in over a decade.”