28-year-old Katelyn Bomer has spent the past five years perfecting her impressive 10-step skincare routine. Unfortunately, it must also be noted that within that same time frame, she has never once washed her makeup brushes.
“I’m all about skincare!” Katelyn told reporters. “Unless it’s something I don’t want to do, like wash my makeup brushes. That’s such an annoying task, and I actually don’t even know how to go about doing that. Mostly I just like spending money on serums in cute bottles, lathering creams onto my face indiscriminately, and simply hoping for the best.”
Katelyn says she’s not really hoping for her skin to start looking better, she just hopes it doesn’t start actively looking worse.
“I just think if I’m doing one good thing for my skin, then that kind of cancels out any other so-called ‘bad’ thing I do, like using makeup brushes I haven’t washed since college or never drinking water,” she said. “Basically, I like to do the fun parts of skincare, and pretend the other parts don’t exist.”
Sources close to Katelyn say this level of cognitive dissonance is pretty common for her.
“She always saves a bunch of healthy recipes, but only ever gets take out, and for some reason she thinks that means she has good nutrition?” Katelyn’s roommate, Frances Hess, told reporters. “She also makes sure to be in bed by 10 p.m. every night to ‘get a full eight hours of sleep,’ but then proceeds to scroll on her phone until 3 a.m. I don’t know who she thinks she’s kidding. I’m also really concerned about her lack of water consumption.”
Katelyn told reporters that nutrition is all about “having your heart in the right place,” but explained that the situation with her makeup brushes is a bit more dubious than healthy eating.
“Nobody really knows if you actually need to wash your makeup brushes,” she said. “It’s more of a suggestion.”
Scientists say that unwashed makeup brushes can hold millions of bacteria between their bristles so, if you care about your skin, then, yeah, you do need to be washing your brushes.
Katelyn chose to ignore these statements, saying, “What’s next? We actually need to be drinking eight cups of water per day too?”
Scientists, again, say yes, absolutely.
As of press time, Katelyn had still not yet washed her makeup brushes, but she had incorporated a menial amount of water into her daily routine for the first time in her life, which, at 28, is alarming, but definitely a step in the right direction.