Sources confirm that though Danielle Bloom has seen the 2008 musical film Mamma Mia! starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Bronson 33 times, she has no plans to watch the critically acclaimed television show The Wire at this time or at any point in the future.
Mamma Mia!’s runtime is 109 minutes, which means that Bloom has spent over 3,500 minutes watching Meryl Streep sing about not knowing who her child’s father is even though DNA testing is widely available. The Wire, which is an honest look at topics such as police brutality and race relations in the United States, is made up of sixty 60-minute episodes, and would thus take 3,600 total minutes to watch.
“I don’t know why she insists on watching Mamma Mia! over and over again,” friend Shayna Morales says. “She doesn’t even have to watch The Wire. I mean, she should, but she should mostly just watch anything else that’s not Mamma Mia!”
When asked to comment, Bloom said it was a simple decision.
“The Wire seems depressing,” Bloom told reporters, “I’m sure it’s good, but it’s no Mamma Mia!”
When asked if given the opportunity if Danielle would choose to magically go back in time and only have watched Mamma Mia! one time and used the extra 32 viewings to have watched nearly all of The Wire, Danielle says no. “I would take away one viewing of Mamma Mia! and use it to see Bring It On, because I still haven’t seen Bring It On and I think I would like it.”
Bloom no longer wants to discuss her decision and wants to continue rewatching Mamma Mia! in peace. “I mean, what’s so great about The Wire anyway,” she asks. “You guys are too obsessed with it.”