When creating an end of life file, many individuals request that their remains be cremated and their ashes spread in places that have special meaning to them, like the beach, the mountains, or the ocean. However, for 32-year-old Meg Holland, there’s only one place she can imagine being laid to rest for eternity: her beloved couch.
“My couch just holds so much meaning for me,” she told reporters. “It’s where I had all my best memories: watching TV, laying, scrolling on my phone…why would I ever want to be laid to rest anywhere else?”
Meg’s friends and family were a bit more skeptical of her request.
“The couch? Really?” said Meg’s roommate, Divya. “We split that. It cost me $250. What if she dies before me? I’m supposed to just chill on a couch covered in her ashes? Am I at least allowed to vacuum them up at some point? Is there like a statute of limitations for this sort of thing?”
Meg’s other roommate, Ryan, was a little more optimistic about the potential circumstance.
“If Meg dies first and her ashes are scattered on the couch, that just means she’ll still be able to watch Housewives with us from the beyond!” Ryan told reporters. “How could Divya not be happy about that?”
Meg agreed that there would be no more sentimental way for her loved ones to say their farewells.
“Yeah, it’s awkward to have your roommate’s parents come over,” Meg said. “But I hope my roommates would be okay with it in this one instance since I would be dead. I just want my parents to understand who I really am, even if they never understood while I was alive.”
Meg clarified that “who she really is” is just “someone who watches a lot of reality TV” and whose main hobby is simply “lying on the couch.”
However, at press time, when Meg’s mom learned of her daughter’s wishes, she was neither pleased nor understanding.
“Meg grew up on a huge ranch at the base of the Rocky Mountains!” she said. “She doesn’t want her ashes spread there? Or how about the many, many family vacations we took to the Maldives? The ocean isn’t good enough for her? I don’t want to have to go to her weird, gross apartment.”
When Meg’s roommates heard her mom’s statements, they couldn’t believe it, saying, “So, she could have afforded to pay for the whole couch herself then, huh?”
Divya added, “If she pays me my $250 she can iron her ashes into the couch for all I care.”
