In a recent, shocking tragedy that has shaken one woman to her core, Des Moines resident Allison Peterson woefully reached the part of her salad that is just leaves and nothing else.
“I was eating in the breakroom at work, absentmindedly scrolling through Instagram,” said Peterson, wiping away tears. “And that’s when it happened: I looked down and saw that I had eaten all the good stuff. There was nothing left but dry arugula.”
Peterson, who is on a real salad-eating kick lately, went on to explain how she ended up in this devastating predicament.
“I mean, it wasn’t much to begin with,” she said. “I just sort of threw some spring mix in a Tupperware container and then some pre-cooked chicken, black beans, and whatever else I could find with some balsamic something or another. But still, it was jarring to look down and see leaves. Like, I didn’t even bring enough dressing for it.”
“I should’ve planned better,” Peterson added.
Janice Shiner, Peterson’s coworker and workplace confidant, expressed her shock at the situation.
“When I saw Allison’s face, I thought she may have just been laid off or something,” said Janice. “I’ve never seen someone look so horrified. I can’t believe the poor thing had to eat just leaves.”
“They were like, wilted ugly ones too,” she added.
“Moments like these, they just remind you that life is short, you know?” Peterson said. “There I was, taking my bacon bits for granted. “
“Turns out I missed those bacon bits once I had none left,” she added. “I am changed.”