Earlier today in the break room of a Philadelphia accounting firm, administrative assistant Melissa DeLiotta revealed to her coworkers that she was 35 years old. At press time, DeLiotta was still scanning faces for looks of surprise.
“I honestly thought by now someone would tell me they can’t believe I’m not 27, or even 25,” DeLiotta says by phone, evidently calling us from the break room landline. “What I want is doubt in my statements, but all I see before me is pure belief. You’d better believe I’m willing to wait for a little disbelief.”
According to coworker Eric Chen, DeLiotta told a group of employees that she had bought a Groupon for Botox, but the aesthetician told her she didn’t need it. It was then that DeLiotta revealed her actual age. Chen did not respond because he was afraid his comments would be misinterpreted.
“It was literally out of nowhere. I was just like, ‘Oh, wow,’ but I mumbled it. I didn’t want to get sent to HR for saying something stupid,” Chen tells us. “The fact is, I do believe she’s 35. Like, I believe that. Is that…mean?”
Chen adds, “She’s still hot, though. Like, Jennifer Anniston is 40-something and she’s super hot! So it’s not like I don’t think she’s hot, if that’s what she wants us to think. Because I do. Think she’s hot, I mean. I think she’s hot.” Chen then sighed loudly and sat back down, trying to look surprised.
Coworker Alyssa Green believes DeLiotta’s need to look 27 is upsetting.
“Melissa is a smart, beautiful, successful woman; it sucks she feels she needs to look a certain age to be happy,” says Green. “And it especially sucks because she totally does look 35. Not in a bad way; 35 is still super young. She just looks it. Like, a good 35. Does that make sense?”
DeLiotta says she will wait three days for someone to assure her that she doesn’t look 35 or she will begin to look for a new job in Miami Beach, Florida. According to DeLiotta, Miami Beach, Florida has a greater population of older folks who might ask her what grade she’s in.
