Woman Nails Job Interview With Future Harasser

After being on the hunt for a new job, Amanda Diaz reportedly crushed her last-round interview with Mark Rollins of the Boston Consulting Group. Diaz feels the interview went well and is therefore confident that Rollins will soon be her boss and future workplace harasser.


“The second I walked into the office, everything just clicked,” Diaz says. “I knew my interviewer would one day be the man who texts me something unrelated to work every night before bed, despite having a wife and young children.”


According to reports, Diaz is already preparing for the day-to-day life at BCG. If everything falls into place, Diaz will be in her desk by the end of the week, and groped by Rollins at the company Christmas party before filing an HR complaint that ultimately goes unsubstantiated so that she’s forced to continue to work directly under her harasser.


“I can already see myself being told, ‘This is a he-said-she-said situation and really there’s nothing we can do,’” says Diaz. “Sometimes you just have that feeling right in the interview, you know?”


Diaz has been working odd jobs here and there—babysitting, waiting tables—but is ready to set down roots and fall victim to a long lasting, toxic relationship with a male superior.



“I just want to have that authentic experience of being a woman in the workplace,” says the summa cum laude poly-sci graduate. Diaz is confident that with Rollins at the helm, she’ll have the drawn-out, tortuous workplace dynamic every woman dreams of, in a bad dream that’s actually a nightmare.


While hiring decisions have not been made yet, Diaz has never felt more confident leaving an interview.


“I could so easily see him taking me under his wing, giving me career advice, and consistently badgering me about why I don’t wear skirts.”


There’s no better feeling than knowing you crushed an interview, but the suspense is killing Diaz. “I’m confident, yes, but I still want confirmation that my career rests in his vindictive hands.”


Rollins said he would let her know whether she got the job within the week, but is optimistic, saying, “We could use another chick around the office.”