In a developing story out of Chicago, IL, Friends and family of 28-year-old Belle Kearny are devastated to learn that she has personal rules and goals for herself –– like some sort of cop.
“She told me that she always goes to bed before 11 on weeknights,” Belle’s roommate, Hailey, told reporters. “And it’s just like, okay? Do you fine yourself, too? Do you give yourself little tickets? Do you stroll around with a gun on your belt acting as an agent of the state and suppressing civil liberties?”
Other sources close to Katie agree, saying they find Katie’s sentiments to be extremely contradictory.
“She always said she was an abolitionist,” Belle’s sister, Katie, added. “Then I find out she wants –– and is on track to –– read 50 books this year? I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.”
Ultimately, Belle says she tries to ignore the “is a cop” allegations, adding that she’s “just trying to be the best version of myself that I can be.”
However, those close to Belle still aren’t convinced.
“She was telling me all about her ‘New Years’ Resolutions’ this weekend,” Katie told reporters. “I don’t know what her deal is. Apparently she wants to exercise more? And I’m just like, why? For what? Are you training for the police academy?”
Hailey expressed similar sentiments regarding Belle’s behavior.
“She said she couldn’t come out with us last night because she ‘doesn’t go out on weeknights?’” Hailey said. “What’s that all about? I know we all live in a police state, I just didn’t realize she also lives within her own personally-enforced police state in her mind.”
As of press time, Belle still didn’t understand why her friends and family were so unsettled by her behavior. However, seeing as she had been working so hard so consistently, she did decide to loosen up some of her personal rules and be a little more lenient with herself about achieving her goals.
“It’s like how they sometimes give inmates lighter sentences for good behavior. Oh, god, I am a cop!”
