In an ongoing story out of a New York subway car, witnesses report that after 24-year-old Ashley Weathers saw Chloë Sevigny sitting directly across from her, she has been working extra hard to make it abundantly clear that she wants absolutely nothing to do with them so that the celebrity will think that she’s cool and she “gets it.”
“I just want to make sure I’m giving her plenty of privacy,” Ashley told reporters, after getting up and moving to the other side of the train car. “I’m sure she just wants to be left alone, and the fact that I know that proves that I’m not a crazy fan and could actually have a totally normal conversation with her if we ever cross paths again and eventually become friends.”
Despite reporters informing her that this was an improbable scenario and that this was probably the only time she would see Chloë Sevigny in person, Ashley remained content with her decision.
“Well, if that’s true,” Ashley said. “Then I’m sure I left a lasting impression on her. Right now, she’s probably thinking, ‘That girl is so cool for not noticing me at all. Wow, I love it when people just leave me the hell alone! I wish we were friends, lowkey.’”
Things got even more interesting when Ashley and Chloë got off at the same stop, leaving Ashley to bob and weave through other pedestrians to continue avoiding the celeb.
“Once we were both out of the station, I made sure that whichever way she walked next, I would walk the totally opposite way,” Ashley continued. “I don’t want her to think that I’m being weird. I’m sure she gets chased by random people all the time and I can’t imagine how terrifying that is. Who cares that it took me an extra 45 minutes to get to work that day? I enjoyed walking that extra mile anyway!”
At press time, Ashley had unfollowed Chloë Sevigny on Instagram.
“I can’t have her thinking that I know who she is,” Ashley said. “That would be so embarrassing, especially when we meet again organically and become best friends!”
