Woman Exhausted After Pulling Yet Another All-Dayer

In news out of Portland, OR, has Michaela Garcia has just crashed on her couch from, yet again, pulling an exhausting all dayer.


“I just don’t know if my body can keep up with this anymore,” said the 22-year-old. “Having to be at work all day and then run errands in the evening and then cook dinner? With no naps? It’s just not sustainable in the long run.”


Sources confirm that Michaela has been pulling these all dayers since getting a job after graduation, but those around her also worry about the toll these prolonged periods of wakefulness are taking on her physical and mental health.


“Every day she comes home and just falls face forward onto her bed, which is concerning,” says Michaela’s roommate Jo. “And then the next day, she just chugs another coffee and does it all over again. I keep telling her to slow down and take a break, but she always has ‘deadlines’ and ‘a job’ she has to do.”


When asked how she gets through these prolonged periods of staying up, Michaela told reporters her tips to prevent from crashing.



“I always make sure there’s lots of light to keep me awake – which is actually pretty easy since it’s daytime – and I surround myself with other all-dayers to keep me on track – which is also pretty easy since everyone in my office seems to do all dayers too? I don’t know how we all do it.”


Although many have concerns for Michaela’s health, Michaela says not all in her life share her fear of exhaustion from this unsuitable work schedule.


“I brought up setting boundaries to stop overextending myself to my boss once, but he said letting me come in at 2 p.m. everyday was ‘out of the question,’” said Michaela. “So I guess I’ll just have to keep pulling these all dayers instead.”


As of press time, Michaela was seen recovering from her most recent all dayer by lying on the couch and scrolling through Reddit for two hours.