In a devastating story of mythological proportions unfolding in Boston, MA, it appears that 26-year-old Lila McGivins is doomed to make a cup of tea and then forget she made it for the rest of time.
“Every morning I wake up and brew myself a cup of tea,” Lila told reporters through tears. “And every morning, it’s too hot to drink upon first pour. So, I’ll do some other tasks, get my day started, and by the time I remember that I had made myself a cup of tea, it will have gotten cold. I will curse the sky, but it’s no use.”
Sources confirm Lila will then dump out the cold cup of tea, boil some more water, and begin the cycle over again. Much like Sisyphus being forced to toil day in and day out pushing his boulder up a hill, it seems Lila is going to make a cup of steaming hot tea, pause to let it cool, then forget she made it every single day for the rest of her life.
“Did I do something wrong?” she pleaded. “Did I anger the gods? Why have I been cursed to endure this agony without end?”
Reporters had very little to offer but one noted perhaps she was a dictator or evil monarch in a past life.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Lila finish a cup of tea,” said Lila’s roommate, Tara Luiz. “In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her take a sip, but every time I walk into the kitchen, she’s making a new batch or dumping out an old cup. Where does the tea go? Why does she do this task? Is it soothing to her?”
It is not soothing to her in the slightest. In fact, Lila can regularly be seen crying over her cold, forgotten cups of tea as if they symbolize something that is fundamentally wrong with her.
“I always assume the next time will be the last time,” she continued. “That’s how the trap begins. I’ll tell myself, ‘This time, I won’t forget that I’ve made tea,’ and, without fail, 30 minutes will pass and my tea will have cooled completely.”
Lila has tried setting an alarm to remind her of the cup of tea, but she always turns it off without thinking.
As of press time, Lila has resigned herself to drinking lattes for the rest of her life, because they’re a pretty reasonable temperature from the get-go.
