A whole slew of holiday parties are just around the corner. If you’re single, you’re sure to be picking out sexy boots and flirty sweaters that catch the eye of that guy. But, what’s the perfect accessory for sending a subtle, come-hither vibe from across a crowded room? A wine spill! Try these sexy splashes and the boys will be cozying up to you in no time.
The Carpet Spill
This spill says, “Oops, I am such a klutz! Oh my gosh, isn’t that adorable? You’ll have to forgive my uncontrollable impulses! YES we can totally sneak into the bedroom, or bathroom, or hall closet. Silly me! I am so silly!”
The Collar Spill
“Whoops, I spilled wine on my collar. I feel so vulnerable though because wow that was embarrassing. I’m blushing! I’m touching my neck now. It’s near other sensitive parts of my body like my mouth and my nipples. You know what’s under this collar? Skin! My whole body is heating up from embarrassment!”
The Near-Crotch Spill
“Oh no oh no oh no fuck this is my roommate’s skirt. But you know whattt? She’s kind of the worst. She has loud sex with her boyfriend when she knowwwws I am home. Uh I think I am drunk now? Sex is great. I lub sex. Do yooou oh I’m falling on you lap!”
The “Oops I Spilled My Wine on You!” Spill
“It’s 2014! I’m an independent woman and I don’t mind making the first move! Unless that’s like, not what you’re into. Take off that wet shirt, tho. Can I put my tongue in your ear?”
The Near-Spill That Didn’t Spill
“I’m not drunk, seeee?! I’m a totally together person. Look at these assholes! I’m more together than they are. There are NO STAINS on my outfit. I don’t even have wine mouth. You want to make out with me? I have a really clean mouth and I only have one incurable STD.”
Whatever your personal style, there’s a spill to suit you! So get spilling, ladies, and make that party a little merrier!
