Living in a big city has its advantages: It can help you figure out your personality, play around with your style, and understand the people with whom you wish to surround yourself. But after a while, you can surround yourself with so many cool and interesting people that you actually start to feel less groundbreaking yourself. So after many years of feeling a little bit boring, I decided to move from Brooklyn back to my hometown of Wichita, KA so I could seem more edgy by comparison.
Immediately, I knew I made the right decision. Now, I was getting pointed glances simply by wearing my platform Doc Martens to the grocery store, whereas before, I wasn’t even getting second looks for walking down the street wearing a full latex body suit in a desperate bid for attention.
That’s the city effect, I guess!
In the city, everyone’s so wrapped up in their own interesting, unique lives that they don’t even spare two seconds to think about what you’re doing, and no matter how deep you pull for your spoken word poetry performances, nothing you do is even half as edgy as what 70% of the people in Bushwick are doing without even trying. But in my hometown, walking around outside after 7p.m. is considered edgy – people will wonder why you aren’t eating dinner with your family and immediately become concerned.
The parameters just became way more attainable – and I’ve never felt better about myself! Being edgy in the city is impossible. Being edgy in Wichita is looking at my neighbor Anne the wrong way so she calls the police and then they ask you why you’re wearing a beanie.
Now, I don’t even have to try and I’m the edgiest person in town! My parents don’t recognize me (I dyed the tips of my hair pink), people I used to know in high school are afraid of me, the grocery store doesn’t sell cigarettes so I have to get them from a faraway retailer that no one even knows about.
In fact, I’ve actually been able to tone down my own edginess and relax a bit more, while still being perceived as the most unhinged person in my town. It’s been great for my ego, while also playing an active role in disintegrating every other facet of my life I’d been trying to build up prior. I’m living the dream and I’m at a creative standstill. Such are the compromises of life!
