‘Who Knew Jigsaw Puzzles Were So Fun!’ Says Wild-Eyed Roommate Moving Dried Beans Around Table

Despite continued attempts at activities to boost morale, conditions appeared to be deteriorating in your apartment this week as you walked into the kitchen to lock eyes with your disheveled, frenetic roommate moving dried beans around the table.


“Who knew jigsaw puzzles were so fun?!” said your wild-eyed roommate who will remain anonymous to protect those you once thought of as innocent and now think of as the person who better wash those beans.


“There were signs she would be the first to break,” you said. “For the first five days of social distancing she was the one getting up at 8 and putting on jeans and a full face of makeup. When you start there, you have nowhere to go but down. Hard and fast.”


But while the circumstances may indicate quarantine fever, your roommate seems to be in remarkably high spirits as she pushes dried pinto beans around with no discernible pattern or vision.


“I guess she’s Castaway-ing at this point,” you said. ”It’s a little on-the-nose, but we all respond differently in a crisis.”


Your second roommate tried to calmly talk her into putting the beans down, you insisted she must be kidding, and the third Instagram live streamed the whole thing.


“Join me! I’m doing Guernica,” said your roommate, motioning to the shapeless spread of table beans.


At press time, you were all intently moving pintos around your kitchen table, following directions to start with the corners and work in from there.



“We should still definitely be worried,” you said. “But it is kind of fun.”