Whew! This Affluent White Guy Says America Has Survived Worse

Coming as a huge relief to those around him, affluent while guy Charles Taylor recently announced in reference to current social and political turmoil, that America has survived worse.


Wow! It’s so comforting to hear that an upper-class white man, who is neither currently nor historically disenfranchised or marginalized in any way, thinks extreme concern over the state of the country is out of proportion!


“Look, I’m liberal,” said Charles, who benefits from every action or inaction that upholds white heteropatriarchal hegemony. “I’m not saying things aren’t tough right now, but the country has bounced back from far worse.”


Always a champion of rational thought, Charles is capable of staying calm amidst a barrage of bad national and global news, the consequences of which have absolutely no negative effect on his life.


“What people need to understand is that there’s a pendulum effect to the unfolding of history. You can and should care about politics, but you need a healthy dose of nihilism too,” said Charles in reaction to friends who were marching, calling their representatives, and donating to nonprofits. “Getting hysterical about things doesn’t help anyone.”


While Charles’s confidence is a clear beacon of light in these trying times, some of his friends are unconvinced by his argument.


“I know Charles has good intentions,” said his friend Deena Torre. “But he’s wrong about all of us ‘surviving’ worse. Sure, our government is still standing, but plenty of people have actually died prematurely over the course of history, due to the policies of our government.”


“Are you fucking kidding me?” added another friend, Kyle Melendez. “The ability to view events in a detached manner is rooted in the privilege of knowing you’re immune.”


Luckily, Charles is unfazed by this logic and continues to promise that the country will be fine in due time.


“In the grand scheme of things, this is all just a hiccup,” he said. “Our nation was founded on the principles of equality and progress. Sometimes power falls into the wrong hands, but we’ll always return to those values.”


We can’t wait to see what it will be like when America starts valuing equality! Thanks, Charles!