Look, I know it’s hard to resist the glamour of the Oscars. It’s Hollywood’s biggest night, after all, and I’m really grateful so many of my friends came out to my 3rd annual Oscar party. But while we’re snarking on the speeches and snacking on the onion dip I remembered to make two minutes before everyone got here, I think it’s high time someone brought up the obvious unspoken problem here.
I really hate to be that person, but I have to ask: Where are all the people of color at my Oscar party?
I did consider that it might be a coincidence that there’s not a single guest here that’s not lily-ass white, even though that’s exactly who I invited here. But this is the second year in a row where I haven’t had any racial diversity in my self-selected group of friends. It looks like #OscarsSoWhite is at it again with my Oscar party.
And before you tell me to get off my soapbox—it’s not like there weren’t any people of color qualified enough to warrant an invite. We all saw the incredible work my cubicle-mate Shonda has been putting in all year, and how good she looked doing it. But I guess she just wasn’t good enough for my Oscar party, right? And what about Aaron Cho, the Tinder date I got drinks with just a week ago? He’s clearly about to hit it big in my social life, but that still wasn’t enough to satisfy the white demon that controlled my guest list. So what’s the deal, Academy?
I think what’s really depressing is that this year, I thought we actually had a shot at some real ethnic diversity at my Oscar party. It’s just so infuriating to see party invites that could have gone to people of color keep on going to the same old group of my own white friends. But I guess that’ll just always be how the Oscars work, and there’s nothing I can personally do to control it.
So, fuck. Everyone is Instagramming this already, and there’s really no way people won’t notice that my closest friends and I look like maybe we all just escaped from a commune in Salt Lake City. It’s officially crisis control time, people. I’ll just have to blast this Hip Hop Spotify playlist Google found for me and call it a night. This party can’t be racist if we’re listening to Kendrick Lamar. Worse comes to worst, I’ll pull out the big guns and just put Marissa front and center in every picture I upload. She’s half-Argentinian.
