Inside THESE Beauty Editors’ Colons

You’ve been dying to know what the top beauty editors have in their colons—and now we’ve got the exclusive! Come take a peek at what publishing’s elite are keeping tucked away at the bottom of their large intestines.


Jessica Blum, Glamour

Jessica loves getting her daily dose of bulky fiber and Smartwater—and it shows! Her colon is largely free of fecal matter, as she makes at least one large bowel movement per day, in addition to smaller, nicely-textured bowel movements after each meal. It’s hard to tell from photos, but in her sigmoid colon you can always catch a whiff of Jo Malone Oud and Bergamot, which she says is her signature scent. “I know everyone says that, but it’s true,” Blum whispers conspiratorially, as we maneuver a colonoscope through her descending colon. This is effing gold!!



Monique Smalls, Marie Claire

Ms. Smalls swears by three things: mani-pedis with Jin Soon Choi, La Mer Crème De La Mer, and a hearty spoonful of castor oil each morning. All three contribute to keeping her looking refreshed and regular, inside and out. She also promotes rejuvenation of the transverse colon with regular glycolic acid peels. “My husband thinks I’m nuts, but it works,” says Smalls, from atop her Squatty Potty. Who knew!!


Maya Reynolds, W Magazine

Reynolds isn’t afraid to call herself “high maintenance,” and you can tell from the bulging folds of her colon! Essentials she keeps in her lower gastrointestinal tract include un-expelled bowel movements after eating dairy, swallowed squares of Nicorette, and at least three different Urban Decay Naked palettes. She admits to having a few benign polyps nipped recently, but as she says that’s the price for keeping young inside and out! “If I had more free time, I’d spend it all on polyp readings,” admits Reynolds, as an aesthetician gives her a coffee enema. Not to brag, but on days like these, we really love our job!


Diana Lin, InStyle

Ms. Lin revels in being a girly girl, which you can tell from the preppy pink of her intestinal walls. Maya credits broccoli, the occasional cocktail in the financial district at Dead Rabbit, and a Beautyblender sponge for her peachy flush. “Honestly, it’s my power combo. I swear by it,” says Lin, standing next to an x-ray of her lower abdomen. We die!!!


Greta Johnson, Vogue

Johnson likes to keep things simple. In addition to power cleansing to rid herself of mucoid plaque, she keeps cute tin of Rosebud salve in her rectum for beauty emergencies. “I never leave home without it!” says Johnson, while spreading her cheeks for us to see. Dishy!



Now that you’ve seen inside these trendsetters’ colons, you’re well on your way to ramping up your GI style. Don’t forget to flush!