So you got a little “creative” for your man, but now you’re in Splitsville. That’s OK! Your days of whipping may be done, but with these easy tips on how to repurpose that gear, you’ll be able to whip your own life back into shape!
The Nipple Clamps!
You know you’ve been meaning to do that “hanging photos” project you saw on Pinterest – use those nipple clamps to clamp some cute photos of you and your friends to a clothesline. What to use for a clothesline? That organic hemp bondage rope Ryan bought you, of course!
The Riding Crop!
Use it as flyswatter! Be the Lord-ess of the Flies and show them who their Mistress is! Why let this awesome tool gather dust in your closet??
The Dog Collar!
Give it to your dog! Have the most stylish hound at the dog park with your cherry-red black leather spiked collar. Instead of smelling like sweat and Ryan’s Abercrombie Fierce cologne, it’ll just smell like dogs!
The Latex Bodysuit!
Donate it to a hospital! Yeah, they said they only use latex gloves, and don’t accept donations, but there’s totally got to be a weird contagious virus this could be useful for, and a really skinny doctor who can fit into it.
The Copy of Fifty Shades of Grey!
Hurl it through Ryan’s window! Show him the price of cheating on his Mistress! It’s a terrible book, but a GREAT substitute for a brick!
The Butt Plug!
Use his friends’ homophobia against him: Leave it on his doormat! None of his Delta Kappa Epsilon bros will want to hang out with someone who voluntarily puts stuff up his butt!
There are many ways to make sure your $429.38 spent on FetishFuel.com doesn’t go to waste! You’ve made a grown man bark like a dog before he orgasms, so you’ve got plenty of imagination to go around!