There’s no better feeling than finding that perfect vintage piece. Spending hours scouring the racks at thrift stores and consignment shops can be so worth it, especially when you nab a sartorial artifact so rare that you can look past the 30-year-old body odor embedded into every fiber! So we’ve compiled a list of vintage clothing articles you can search out that are so amazing, you’ll just have to ignore the surprise pit stank that will surely accompany them!
Members Only Jackets
Remember the 80s? Haha, we don’t! But if you manage to get your hands on the vintage Members Only jacket of a woman who died in 2004, you’ll feel like you’re back in the summer of 1989 walking around the mall with all your friends. And the summer part will be very clear because the armpits of this baby will absolutely smell like teenage armpits during the Cold War. But you won’t even care about having the same scent as a teen in the thick of a difficult puberty, because what an awesome find!
Gunne Sax Dresses
No vintage collection is complete without a whimsical Gunne Sax dress – these quintessential 1970s frocks are surprisingly easy to find if you know where to look. They’re also surprisingly easy to smell once you find one: Those San Francisco ladies were NOT wearing deodorant. Not even the natural stuff! Thankfully, once you’re rocking the high-necked, paisley adorned gown, the funky pits won’t even be an issue. Shop away, soul sister!
Coogi Sweaters
Made super popular by late rapper Notorious BIG, Coogi sweaters are highly coveted by vintage streetwear collectors. Even if you aren’t familiar with the name, the bright colors and abstract weave patterns will be instantly recognizable. Unfortunately, the inevitable funk from 25 years of festering armpit sweat will be, too. But who cares about a stench that won’t quit when you’ve got a sweater as cool as this? It’s all good, baby baby!
Gucci T-Shirts
Gucci’s vintage t-shirts are incredibly sought after. And for good reason: The classic logo is timeless, shows that you have impeccable yet casual taste, and is distracting enough for you and anyone around you to be able to pay no attention to the foul odor soaked into the underarm of the shirt of the Miami-based cocaine dealer who wore it last. It’s called fashion hunny, maybe you’ve heard of it?
If you happen upon any of these incredible vintage finds, make sure to snatch them up! I mean, yeah, the pit stink will be present and permeating, but the style points you’ll earn will far outweigh the scrunched noses and abject avoidance you’ll experience from those around you. Disregard!!
