Uncomfortable Public Wonders When Jennifer Lawrence Will Be Quirky Again

After Jennifer Lawrence recently wrote an essay on the gender wage gap in Hollywood, her adoring fans report feeling uncomfortable, wondering when she will go back to being a total quirkster.


“It’s hard and confusing,” college student Anne Marie Santiago laments. “When I write my listicles of reasons why Jennifer Lawrence and I should be BFFS, they usually involve me dreaming of us getting wasted and dancing together, not discussing contemporary sexism.”


“I miss the old Jennifer,” Santiago continued. “The one who when a famous Hollywood well-known womanizer would flirt with her, she would get embarrassingly flattered and not know what to say. You know, like my friends or I would do.”



“I hope this doesn’t ruin her career,” says D-Dawg69, a self-professed “fan of her work” in the nude photo leak known as The Fappening. “I miss it when she was a picture, not a talking person. I bet a lot of big dogs in Hollywood feel the same way.”


“When is she going to tell an embarrassing story again where she adorably makes a fool of herself so on a subconscious level I can feel better about myself?” Tumblr user Amanda Baron laments. “I’ve got GIFs on GIFs on GIFs, and I can’t use any of them because none of them seem quirky anymore.”


“I don’t know, can’t she make a self-effacing comment about her weight while bragging about her spectacular cleavage?” Baron sighs. “I just don’t feel like she’s relatable anymore.”



“How am I supposed to find it believable that she is the teenage leader of a revolution in a dystopian future if she’s not going to publicly decry how many Jell-O shots she did with Jimmy Fallon?” 52-year-old secretary Lucille Wendle complains.


“Well, at least there’s hope in her becoming friends with that Amy Schumer character,” Wendle went on. “Maybe they’ll get blackout drunk together and go on a late night talk show and brag about their HPV. And hey—if she’s drunk more often, maybe she’ll trip again! I love when she trips.”


“I want to see her trip on a stage,” her coworker chimed in. “I like when she does that.”


Lawrence has yet to comment, which fans agree is “somewhat spontaneous” but “still not quirky.”