9 Times Jess From New Girl Was 100% Fictional

Jess Day is your spirit animal, drinking buddy, best friend, and basically the same person as you, with one little difference: Jess is completely fictional and you are painfully real. Of course, you still love watching this weirdo take on the challenges of adulthood, because she has the freedom of existing purely as an idea, but that doesn’t mean that your life bears any resemblance to hers. Here are 9 times when Jess was totally the construct of a bunch of highly-paid writers in a room:


1. When she was hungry!
You loved when Jess embodied this human urge decided upon and brought to life by a team of professional writers, producers, directors, hair and makeup artists, gaffers, editors, and hundreds of other tradesmen.



2. When she told someone the truth.
Of course “truth” loses all meaning in an empty, fictional reflection of our own reality, but whoa. This moment!



3. When she was weird.
Sometimes Jess was quirky, almost like you, except that she is entirely made up.



4. When she admitted something devastating.
Jess’s honesty really occupied the space between commercials for Nissan, thus fulfilling the purpose of her existence.



5. When she was hungry again, almost like a human.
That time we projected our earthly cravings upon this empty shell.




6. When she was in a goofy situation with her roommate.
This very well could have happened to someone, probably one of the writers, but this was just a recreation for your amusement.



7. When she admitted to an embarrassing past that we will never see.
Unfortunately, like all of us, Jess has a finite lifespan. Unlike us, though, hers consists of ~23 minute increments over the course of 5 seasons.




8. When she said what she was really thinking.
Could anyone non-fictional think like this girl? Haha.



9. When the actress portraying her, Zooey Deschanel, drew upon her real emotions to breathe life into what is merely a digital series of images.