‘Trans People’s Issues Alienate the Working Class,’ Says Democrat Who’s Never Met Either

In an incredible display of just kind of saying stuff, 52-year-old liberal Isaac Shawn has announced that focusing on “trans issues” alienates the working class from the Democratic party, though he does not personally know a trans person, a working-class person, or anyone at the intersection of these identities.


“We’re about to get crushed in the midterms,” says Shawn. “And that’s largely because a vocal minority in our party is prioritizing polarizing fringe issues.”


According to sources, the fringe issues in question include any effort to protect trans people from the life-threatening attacks that have become a core ideological tenet of the Republican party.


“We need to become the party that looks out for the working class again,” says Shawn, who grew up in Orange County and attended an elite private university in the Northeast. “And lecturing people about pronouns is not the way to bring more people under our tent.”



When asked about how trans working-class people problematize his theory, Shawn became briefly flustered before responding that that’s, “not what he’s talking about, obviously.”


While Shawn is fairly convinced that trans people wanting healthcare discourages lower-income cis people from voting blue, not everyone is swayed by his logic.


“When Isaac says ‘working class,’ I’m pretty sure he’s just picturing that photo of construction workers eating lunch on a steal beam,” says Shawn’s coworker, Chloe Phillips. “Also, other than ignoring the rights of trans people, it’s unclear what he wants Democrats to actually do for anyone.”


“Actually, it seems more like he just wants for trans people and working-class people to vote for Democrats without the party having to do anything for anyone.”


But Shawn is confident that the only way to save the country is for Democrats to cater to a homogenous group of white, cis, blue-collar workers he made up, and furthermore that the only way to do this is to neglect trans people who are disproportionately underemployed.


“You know what they say,” says Shawn. “If you protect the most marginalized people, everyone else will feel left out and stop giving a shit.”


“Besides, what are trans people gonna do?” Shawn adds. “Vote Republican?”