In recent news, the popular grocery store chain Trader Joe’s has revealed their newest line of wines for you to bring to a casual hang or a nice dinner party. Wine lovers have rejoiced over its low price tag of $3 a bottle. The brand is calling the line ‘Your Friendship Is Worth $3’, which is aptly named considering bringing this wine to an event will let your friends know exactly how little you value them.
Reports confirm ‘Your Friendship Is Worth $3’ wines taste like someone mixed a Bud Light Strawber-rita into a contaminated hot tub and ladled it into bottles, but customers have found an easy solution for this problem: the majority have reportedly plopped the cheap bottle into the hostess’ arms, then immediately headed to the more expensive stuff other guests brought.
“I work with Allison and I was honestly surprised she invited me to her barbecue. We don’t really talk and she’s pretty boring,” says ‘Your Friendship Is Worth $3’ customer Raia Franks. “I was excited about this cheap wine option because I honestly couldn’t justify spending more than $5 on this relationship.”
Customers have flocked to their local Trader Joe’s and more than 4,000 people have used this amazing bargain wine to stock up on bare minimum obligatory gestures to last them the whole summer long.
Despite reports that the product is flying off the shelves, those who’ve been gifted the wines are less than thrilled.
“My friend Izzie brought me this nasty wine to my pool hang,” says Gina Harvey. “I’d actually be less insulted if she showed up with nothing. I guess I’m sorry I considered you my friend.”
“Bring a $3 wine to a party is a class-less move,” says Gina’s husband Daren Carter. “Gina will not be inviting her next time.”
‘Your Friendship Is Worth $3’ wines are available in white, red, and rosé, not that it matters to anyone buying them because customers have reportedly been spotted grabbing whatever bottle is closest to the register.
Sources confirm Trader Joe’s will be releasing other highly anticipated products, such as ‘This Relationship Won’t Last Longer Than 3 Months’ face wash and ‘You’re My Least Favorite Kid’ chocolate pudding cups.