Reporters at a recent press conference were stunned when actor and musician Jeremy Renner’s head slid open to reveal a tiny alien named Glorbax, who announced his plan to release a new album within the next month.
“Glorbax wants to sing about hot women, cool summer nights, and the cars that drive us from one to the other,” said the tiny alien, who spent most of the press conference spinning around in a little chair inside Jeremy Renner’s empty, metallic skull. “These new tunes are gonna be lit!”
Glorbax appeared uninterested in revealing details about what he had done with the Hurt Locker and Avengers star, 49, causing some to speculate that Renner may have always been controlled by Glorbax. Glorbax refused to comment, stating only that “Glorbax has a big little head and loves music with all of his tiny bones. Glorbax wants to sing about driving a Chevrolet truck, peacefully but rapidly, from a dry restaurant to a wet beach.”
“Glorbax is pleasantly haunted by vast oceans and cold beer,” Glorbax added. “The fact that Glorbax’s home planet is dying is not relevant to these songs.”
The dramatic reveal was received with enthusiasm by most fans, who expressed delight at the prospect of new Jeremy Renner music.
“Glorbax really seems to ‘get’ Jeremy Renner,” said Marielle Hadid. “He kept saying he was going to release a song about drinking tequila with a woman. That checks out.”
“Glorbax rules,” added Renner fan Brian Donohue. “Glorbax just wants everyone to chill out on different kinds of boats and trucks. I could really see myself getting into the Glorbax lifestyle, which seems pretty similar to the Jeremy Renner lifestyle.”
Glorbax seems excited to continue piloting Jeremy Renner’s body in order to continue churning out rockin’ tunes.
“Jeremy Renner is the perfect host for me. His hands are bigger than mine, so he can more firmly grasp and manipulate the many smooth guitars we need to make special music. And if a few special fans want to join Glorbax on a special VIP trip to help repopulate Planet Glorbax one day, even better!”
At press time, Glorbax has released his first single, “Love On Fire (Let’s Party Like My Home Planet Is Not Dying (DJ Renner Remix))”.
