It can be difficult to send a message without coming across as cold and impersonal in the digital sphere. However, tech-savvy 23-year-old Samira Hawkins has figured out how to manipulate her coworkers into thinking she is friendly and approachable through the magic of Gmail automated responses.
“One day I received this email from my boss asking me to do this super annoying admin task,” says Samira. “I didn’t know how to respond without coming off as irritable, but then something amazing happened: I discovered automated responses! Now everyone thinks I’m endlessly positive and chill.”
Now, whenever those three tiny bubbles pop up in her message bar, she simply chooses the response that will allow her to seem as agreeable as possible and watches as her social capital accrues amongst her colleagues.
Although her coworkers have never met her in person, they all give her glowing reviews.
“She is a master communicator,” says Alex Smith from finance. “It’s like she knows exactly what to say in any situation. She also really knows how to balance the line between formality and warmth. I wish I knew how to do that.”
Phrases like “Sounds great, thank you!” and “Thank you for your response!” even won her employee of the month, an accolade never before doled out in her office.
Samira’s closest friend, Cindy Johnson, confirms that Samira has never really known what to say in any conversations.
“She’s a huge overthinker and tends to freak out easily,” Cindy who used to always have to draft email and text responses for Samira explains. “I’m just so glad that she has this tool to make her seem a little less that.”
Unfortunately for Samira, these automated responses made her so popular over quarantine that now all her coworkers are inviting her to social events.
“I’m devastated,” says Samira “I would’ve never done this if I knew this would be the outcome.”