Whether you’re a Pinterest recipe pro or someone whose most recent home-cooked meal was a Funfetti cake in high school, these recipes are sure to keep you distracted long enough to give your bed a chance to rest. You don’t even have to turn on the oven for these delicious treats—just start crushing Oreos until you decide you’re done.
Six-Layer Ice Cream Pie
For the crust, add one stick of melted butter to two cups of crushed Oreos and spread on the bottom of a pan. Add a layer of your favorite ice cream, hot fudge, Oreo, ice cream, more chocolate fudge, and to top it off—you guessed it, more Oreos! Freeze overnight for a delicious ice cream pie to share with you, yourself, and you. Seriously, set your alarm so you can wake up and eat this at 7 AM, when it’s finally set. Or, eat immediately—you can always make another one by crushing more Oreos.
Magic Oreo Balls
You’ve heard of a Magic 8 Ball, but magic Oreo balls? Signs point to “keep crushing Oreos!” Take an entire container of Oreos and mash ‘em up really good. Use the food processor you bought because you were going to start making green smoothies. Find some cream cheese. Like eight ounces of it, but it doesn’t really matter. Throw that in there, too. Roll this mixture of chocolate-y lard into balls. Refrigerate. Melt some chocolate. Dip the balls in that chocolate. Crush some more Oreos to throw on if you feel like it. Refrigerate again until set. These magic balls also predict your future. Hint: It’s filled with Oreos!
Gooey Peanut Butter Oreo Pudding
Pudding actually takes kind of a long time to make, so instead, just take all of those Oreo crumbs, and dump them in a jar of peanut butter. Go crazy. Maybe even stick the peanut butter in the microwave. Isn’t it bad to microwave plastic? Yep, but you’re already clogging your arteries quickly enough that it doesn’t matter. Just get it over with. We said “no bake”, didn’t we? We followed through on that, yeah? So, you’re welcome.
You have all these crushed Oreos, but what about all the other Oreos you have? If only you had something to dip them in—like more Oreos! Take 8 ounces of cream cheese (like, one package) and half a cup of softened butter (two sticks) and use a standing mixer to beat until fluffy. You don’t have one, do you? Do you even have a hand mixer? Just use your hands. Just mix it together. The butter will melt because your hands will be hot with anticipation. Add a cup of whipped cream and a cup of powdered sugar—just add it right in with your hands. Throw in some vanilla if you’re feeling fancy, but you probably won’t notice it. Stir in as many crushed Oreos as you want. Once it’s blended enough to resemble “dip”, dunk a whole Oreo in. Or just use a spoon to eat it. Attach it to an IV and mainline this shit. It tastes good and it didn’t involve an oven.
Oreo Party for One
Take some crushed Oreos. Chop up some Reese’s cups. Take store-bought cookie dough and cut it up into little pieces. Melt some chocolate. You got butter? Sure, melt that. Don’t forget the whipped cream. Or do, it’s okay. Add everything to a bowl. Combine until the weight of your own sadness is tangible. Eat out of a serving bowl with a spoon. Or your hands. Or just tie your hair back and go in, face first. No one can know about this.
This weekend, when you’ve got the urge to indulge, why not make it a fun project? So what if you don’t know how to bake—you can just keep crushing Oreos until anything makes sense. Enjoy!