The Best Spring Break Destinations for Your Hepatitis Type

Spring Looks - Reductress

Spring break is finally here, so put your pencils down and get those dicks up! You’ve been doing sprang break trips since freshman year … of high school. You’re a mid-March party pro! And just like all the greatest Spring Breakers (suck it, Selena Gomez), you’ve picked up a lil’ hepatitis along the way.


Although there’s only one city in Mexico (Cabo!!!), there are three different types of hepatitis. Find out which trip is right for your liver!!


Hepatitis A – Lake Havasu City, AZ

Hepatitis A appears only as an acute infection and doesn’t become chronic — As they say, you only Hepatitis A once! Hepatitis A is spread through feces, so you’re particularly susceptible when you’re traveling somewhere you don’t have access to clean water, such as backpacking or camping. Why not engage in some back-door play with Lucas in an RV park in Lake Havasu City, Arizona? Or get in a girl-on-girl mud fight right next to the sewage dump station! Glamping doesn’t have to be glamorous!


Hepatitis B – New Orleans, LA

Hepatitis B is the sexiest of all the Hepatitises, caught and spread through making love to a tan and shirtless carrier! So party and share fluids like it’s spring break! No city offers up moist humidity and free flowing spirits like New Orleans! Live up north and want to contract on a budget? Then check out Virginia Beach!



Hepatitis C – Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Hepatitis C is not commonly spread through sex, and the least likely to manifest symptoms, so party on! Sun’s out, guns out, jaundice, fatigue, dark urine, joint pain, and diarrhea out. Puerto Vallarta (sort of like Cabo, but different) would be boss for a Hepatitis C girl and her gals — by day, you can walk along its warm sands and hidden coves, and at night, take on the vibrant bars and beach parties. Drink ‘til you’re ready for that questionable tattoo with an even more questionable hepatitis risk! Whether your Spring Break is about hot hookups or gabbing with the gals, San Diego and Palm Springs offer West Coast girls great Hep C-infested getaways.


Have fun, girls! And remember: Share secrets, not needles!