New England Patriots Cuffed Knit Hat (NFL Shop, $25.99)
This knit beanie serves two functions: stay warm in the winter months and buy yourself safe passage anywhere in the New England region as an Asian person. Of course, it’s not really foolproof, but if you’re up north, this beanie might just lower your chances of racial targeting! After all, if your potential attacker thinks you share his reverence for Tom Brady, maybe he’ll think twice before honking and intimidating you in the parking lot. So bundle up, and say it with me: “Go, Pats!”