A study published by the University of Michigan this week has found that while boredom certainly sucks, it is also certainly preferable to the alternative: doing stuff.
“When we look at the bored population, they’re not exactly ‘happy’” said Lead Researcher Micah McDonald. “But when we gave them tasks to complete, somehow they were even worse off.”
According to a survey of test subjects, 100% said they would prefer to “not be bored,” but 100% also said they would “really hate to have to start doing something.” While these answers appear antithetical on the surface, scientists say this sentiment is very common.
“Think back to when you were a kid and a little bored over the summer,” Micah continued. “But the second school started you were like, ‘Oh, yeah, I forgot this is worse.’ Or when you have nothing to do and ask a friend if they need any help in the kitchen, and they say yes. What the fuck is that about, huh?”
“When I have nothing to do, I am sad,” said one test subject, Tessa Creeger. “But the second you ask me to do something? Yeah, I’ll be yearning for the time when I had nothing to do. This is the way life works, the way desire ebbs and flows.”
When asked if this is how he feels, fellow test subject Matt Green said, “Yeah, except for the desire stuff.”
The study’s experimental methods were simple: Participants were placed in a big room with a broom, and after 20 minutes of boredom, they were given the option to sweep the floor. 99% of participants said “Nah, no thanks, I’ll stick with this.”
By “this,” sources confirm they meant “staring at the walls, just thinking and shit.”
“So, 99% preferred boredom to doing stuff, and the other 1% were honestly such try-hards,” Micah continued. “We get it. You’re helpful. Do you want a gold star?”
As for the ramifications this study will have on the broader community, Micah said, “Honestly, no clue. I’ve been really busy for the last couple of weeks and would love to get back to doing jack shit. If you need me, I’ll be in the blank room.”
A mere 20 minutes into his tenure in the blank room, Micah told reporters, “I’m bored,” but when they asked if he’d like a task, he said, “Absolutely not.”
