‘Sorry I’m So Out of It,’ Says Woman Who is Literally Always Like This

During a socially distanced hangout earlier this week, Ella Townsend reportedly apologized for being “out of it”, despite the fact that she is, very literally, always like this.


The incident occurred when Ella was asked to weigh in on a roommate conflict one of her friends was experiencing.


“When I asked her what she thought, she looked at me with these wide eyes and I swear I could see the gears of her brain working to bring her into reality,” says Sabrina Chen. “She apologized, but I’m used to it. She’s pretty spacy in general.”


But Ella doesn’t see it that way.


“It is true that I kind of zoned out during that particular conversation,” Ella says. “I was just thinking about Smokey Bear. Honestly, he scares me. I don’t like how anthropomorphized his chest muscles are, I think that’s a mistake, really. Let a bear be a bear, right? God, I’m sorry,” Ella adds. “What was the question? I don’t know why I’m just so out of it today.”


Ella is not without her theories as to why she is so out of it today, that other day in the park, and according to friends and coworkers, countless other days in recent memory.


“It’s got to be a quarantine thing,” says Ella. “I feel like it’s definitely gotten worse since COVID.”


“Or maybe I actually had COVID and was asymptomatic, but this is one of those weird after-effects,” adds Ella, who has been this way since she was roughly 14.



According to Ella, other potential causes for her dazed state include not getting enough sleep, getting too much sleep, never eating fruit, and “living in the digital age”.


“Look, I’m not hating,” says Sabrina. “But I don’t think it’s an off day if it’s every day. At a certain point, that’s just your personality.”


Still, Ella holds out hope that she might wake up tomorrow refreshed and mentally locked in.


“Wait, sorry, say that again?” Ella says. “I think my soul just left my body for a second.”