‘Shouldn’t Those Kids be at Virtual School?’ Mumbles Woman Who Should be at Virtual Work

While walking in Prospect Park yesterday, 32-year-old Rachel Douglas scoffed at a horde of teenagers hanging out in the park at approximately noon.


“Shouldn’t these kids be at virtual school right now?” said Rachel, who should have been busy at virtual work. “Where are their parents right now? Geez.”


Rachel, who has been digitally working about four hours a day for the past six months, was aghast at how these new, more liberal policies could be affecting the growth of young minds.



“Parents and schools should be doing more to keep kids focused and at work,” Rachel said as she finished her second lunch cocktail at 2pm. “This is going to kill productivity for an entire generation.”


Rachel then paused to “thumbs up” a few slack messages from her phone while she ordered another drink.