Should You Spit or Swallow or Spray It in the Air Like a Tiny Whale?

It’s important to know what you like in the bedroom, especially when it comes to giving blowjobs. The next time you’re staring down the barrel of a dick waiting for it to fire, decide whether you want to spit, swallow, or spray it in the air like a tiny lil’ whale. Here are three questions to ask yourself so that you can determine which happy ending is right for you!


What do you prefer?

Everyone blowjobs differently. As a dick-sucking person, you have the right to choose where the sploosh goes after you slurp it. Sure, that stuff used to belong to your guy, but it’s yours now. So the first and most important question is: What do you prefer? Do you want to spit it out? Do you want to gulp it down? Or do you want to tilt your head back, propel the jizzum upward, and let it live out its final moments in the sky? And remember—you never know what you’ll like until you try it. You might just end up liking feeling the ocean beneath your feet, the wind in your hair, and using your blowhole like a cum fountain! Toooot!


How long have you been blowjobbing?

If you’ve been bobbing for what seems like the better part of the day, consider swallowing to be done quickly. Instead of holding it all in your mouth, letting it slosh around as you go find a trash can or sink to spit it in, and then flossing to make sure you got it out of your teeth, just drink it down. Voila, it’s gone. Or, again, you always have the option to spray it in the air like you are a petite and feminine whale. Sure, that leaves you with a lot of surface and fabric cleanup, but it will also bring you joy, because you are a fun sea mammal that humans love!



Do you love this penis?

If you love this penis and/or the human attached to it, you’ll want to give it the best treatment possible. In that case, there’s really only one option. Celebrate the penis by launching yourself from his bed like the tiny whale you always have been, collecting his seed right in the front of your mouth, and shooting it straight to the heavens to fulfill your natural destiny.


Next time you’re slobbing on the knob and nearing the end of your journey, ask yourself these simple questions. Choose whatever is right for you, and then enjoy it—especially if the only option that’s right for you is spouting out spunk like a cute little ocean mammal!