She Was Sent Home from School Because Of Her ‘Revealing’ Outfit and Because She’s 37

Young girls can barely leave the house these days without being unfairly policed by crazy patriarchal standards. Case in point: Holly Burwell, who was recently sent home from Valley Forge Middle School simply because of her spaghetti-strap top and also because she’s 37 years old.


“I couldn’t believe it,” says Burwell. “I’ve been posing as a student for 17 years and I’ve never seen any of the boys get sent home.”


School administrators first spotted Burwell in the hallways of Valley Forge shortly after third period, as she was exiting the women’s restroom. Administrators noticed immediately that her outfit was too “revealing” for their taste, and also that she was a full-grown woman. Administrators immediately cited a fear that is all too common at today’s middle schools: that Burwell’s “appearance” would be a distraction for male students at the school because she was “maybe one of their mothers”.


When approached for comment, Valley Forge Administrator Kathy Vasquez responded, “Ms. Burwell was not only wearing a top that did not meet Valley Forge dress code standards, but also guests are required to sign in at the front desk and we don’t allow parents to just drop in during the school day. As a result, we had to ask her to leave school grounds so as not to distract from the learning process here.”


She adds, “That’s just a life lesson she’s going to have to learn before she starts her second round of IVF.”



Sadly, we live in a world today where misogynistic regulations rule just about every part of a woman’s life starting at a very early age. As a result, it’s becoming harder and harder for those like Burwell to focus on their schoolwork. The problem with such dress codes is that they punish young women by sexualizing them, rather than holding young men accountable for sexually objectifying their female classmates. The same goes for male administrators who seem to always find creative ways to, “take note” of such dress code transgressions, like acknowledging the difference in skin quality and tone of 37-year-old Burwell.


“What? Good god, no,” responded Vice Principal Ken Reed when asked if he saw Burwell as a sexual object. “No no. I only date students.”



“Those school officials are clearly overreacting. They’re just a bunch of Puritans,” says Burwell’s mother, who phoned the school the second her daughter was sent home to her retirement community. “And I should know: my mother was a Puritan!”


Valley Forge Middle School plans to make an announcement about an updated dress code, just as soon as they install new window locks on the first-floor ladies’ bathroom.