Selfless Friends Agree That It’s Alyssa’s Turn To Get The Most Drunk

On Friday night at Brewski’s, Alyssa Ramirez’s selfless group of friends decided it was her turn to get the most drunk.


“She really needs this right now,” says friend Erin Becker. “She had a super hard week at work and she deserves to get the most fucked up.”


Ramirez’s difficult week was compounded by her boyfriend “being really weird the past few days” and “like, I don’t know, the election.”


This act of selflessness is a common theme among these women, who have been binge-drinking together since 2012.


“Last week, it was Maggie’s turn because she didn’t get the promotion she was hoping for,” Ramirez’s roommate, Sophie, explains.


“Alyssa has so much going on right now, and what she really needs from us is to do a bunch of Jager shots.”


The group of women shared their own tales of hardship and loss, like the time that Erin wasn’t able to get Beyoncé tickets, or when Maggie rear-ended someone.


“I think the hardest night was when it was Alyssa’s birthday but Sophie found out her parents were getting divorced. It was like, who’s turn is it to get the most drunk?” remembers Becker.


Brewski’s general manager, Jason Ewers, definitely noticed a pattern.



“They’re in here every Friday, but usually only one of them pukes in the bathroom hallway. It’s nice that they switch it up.” Ewers smiles.


It seems that even during good weeks, these women still find ways to designate who is allowed to drunk-rush the karaoke stage.


“There was a time in 2014 where we all had like, pretty good weeks consistently,” Pierson says. “And so then we just all got super drunk except for Maggie because she’s like, the mom of the group, you know?”


When asked for a comment, Alyssa Ramirez just yelled “FIREBALL!!!!!!”