REPORT: Stop Trying to Pronounce Worcestershire and Move On

In a study conducted by Harvard University, new findings suggest that instead of torturing yourself over how to pronounce “Worcestershire”, you should simply forget about it and move on with your life.


Thousands of people are reportedly celebrating this long-awaited result.


“It literally doesn’t matter,” Head of Linguistic Research, Dr. Olabisi Bankole, said. “No one cares how you pronounce it, so don’t let it take up any more space in your mind.”


However, with some people still hung up on the pronunciation of the word, researchers have advice on how to deal with the dilemma.


“If you need to, just avoid the sauce and don’t ever talk about England,” Dr. Bankole said. “If it still bothers you that you’ll never know how to say it, then you obviously don’t want help or to live better.”



Conversely, others are thrilled with the results of the study, with some stating that they’ve had a weight lifted off their shoulders.


“I always pronounce it wrong at first, or I have to think really hard about it to actually say it right,” Brooklyn resident Richie Harris said. “I’m so glad that it doesn’t matter anymore! Now I can finally eat fish and chips in peace.”


“Why are there so many fucking letters?” another fan of the vinegar-based sauce, Asia Taylor asked reporters. “It’s like they want you to pronounce it wrong. Thank God the Brits won’t have that kind of power over me any longer.”


According to market data, Worcestershire sauce sales have never been better, with the condiment flying off of shelves in grocery stores all throughout the country.


“I guess since people aren’t so stressed about how to say it anymore, they can’t get enough of the stuff,” CEO of leading Worcestershire sauce brand Pea & Lerrins, Lenore Johnson, said. “Who knew fear was holding so many people back?”


The research team at Harvard is urging everyone to leave their preconceived notions of how to pronounce “Worcestershire” behind, with a 100% guarantee that we’ll all be happier without them.