In a report emerging from a highway in Minneapolis, MN it appears there’s an ambulance coming up behind you that just needs to scoot past ya real quick.
“I’m used to ambulances being quite loud and cumbersome by design,” you told reporters gathered at the scene. “But this one appears to be…extremely polite. Instead of a siren, there’s just a kind woman leaning out the driver’s side window yelling at people that she just needs to ‘scoot past ya for a jiff.’”
Reporters confirmed hearing the ambulance driver say, “Oops!” “Sorry!” “Don’t mind me!” and, “Oh ya!” as it passed drivers all the way down the highway.
“We’re certainly in a rush, but we don’t mean to inconvenience anyone,” ambulance driver Minnie Harper told reporters while breezing through the crowd. “Everyone’s got somewhere to be, ya know? And sure, we have to respond to a potentially fatal cardiac arrest about three miles from here, but it’s not life or death! Well, I guess it is life or death. Which is why we’re being so pushy!”
Sources confirm that as someone used to the roads in New York, you barely registered the ambulance coming up behind you.
“No one was screaming at us to get out of the way or honking in the slightest,” you continued. “So it barely even registered on my radar. I’m afraid I’ve been driving in front of this ambulance for like, a mile! They don’t even have a siren – they’re just playing Bob Dylan with the windows rolled down.”
While it appears this ambulance is nice, local residents warned you that it doesn’t necessarily mean it is kind.
“This is a classic ‘Midwestern Ambulance Nice’ situation,” said local mom Marnie Willows. “They outwardly say they just need to scoot past ya, but if you get in their way, honey they’ll talk nonsense behind your back for months! They’re really not fond of confrontation.”
As of press time, the ambulance had successfully scooted right past ya and sped down the rest of the highway. As it passed by, you swore you heard the driver say, “Jeez,” in a tone that sent a chill down your spine.
